Create Your World (Pride 2020)
Art by: JoJoesArt
"As a member of the LGBT+ community myself, I thought about what "Pride" means to me. To reflect on that, I want to tell you a little bit about my story:
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I was raised in a quite conservative church. I am grateful for the things I learned about loving my fellow human beings and trusting that there is a higher power that wants the best for us.
However, while growing up in the church instilled many wonderful values in me and gave me a great sense of community and purpose, when I was around 15 years old, something happened that terrified me to the core: I noticed that I felt attracted to other guys.
I had never been a typical boy. While others went out to play soccer with their friends, I had always felt drawn to things deemed to be more "feminine", such as art, music or dressing up in costumes (although I don’t believe in gender stereotypes). Still, the realization that I might be gay took some time to sink in, because in my former church living authentically as a gay person and being with a partner you love is one of the worst sins imaginable.
Thus, my teenage years were really dark. I was already struggling with the common insecurities people face during that time and the realization that I might be gay didn’t add to my sense of self-worth at all. In fact, I started hating myself. My only light were the love of my family and my passion for art. It literally saved me. The community on DeviantArt played a huge role in all of it.
At the age of 24, prior to the day that would change everything, I had begged God in prayer for weeks for an opportunity to talk about my feelings with someone. I had never opened up about it, but found myself watching random Coming Out videos on Youtube all the time. I still remember the day when I looked into the mirror and said to myself: „Jonas, you are gay and that is ok.“ I had kind of accepted it personally, but it was eating me up from the inside, that I still had to present a fake version of myself to family and friends. It felt like wearing a mask and I hated it.
One day, while I was on my way to a games night with my sister and some friends, I had a severe panic attack. It left me in pure anxiety for about a week and I just knew I had to get rid of all emotional burdens I was carrying in order to recover. So that was when I told my family that I was gay.
My "darkest of all secrets" I had carried for almost 10 years was finally out in the daylight! It was the most freeing experience I had had up until that point in my life. Fortunately they were all very accepting and positive.
My coming out and subsequent exit from my former church weren't super easy, but made the world appear in a Billion new colours. Finally accepting myself for who I am and being able to completely be authentic with people around me, changed everything for me.
That is what I wanted to express with this artwork.
That is what "Pride" means to me.
To shine from within. To be our wonderful, colourful selves and bless others with our unique talents and abilities.
We have the ability to paint our world in beautiful colours and by doing so, contribute to a more colourful, loving and peaceful world for all."
—JoJoesArt
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